Monday, October 24, 2005 

Do you?

Do you rasterbate?
Go ahead try it.

Also, I started the new job today. I'll post more tomorrow.


Saturday, October 22, 2005 

Spelling Lesson

Check it out!
Spell with Flickr

GrOU QuarterOne Letter / NOne Letter / D

F_01LOnO parkingR.

Go ahead and try it.

B on BrickITCneon H

Thursday, October 20, 2005 

Luck Right?

So when I went home recently I got to see one of my cousins. She and I are roughly the same age and are really in very different places. Well let me start from the beginning. We grew up very close, almost best friends; we did everything together, even though lived in different towns. My friends knew her and I knew her friends. Well fast forward to college. I started at UNT in the fall of 99 and she came to visit because she too wanted to go there. I even bought her a bumper sticker so she could put it on her car and stuff. It was really cool. I took her to her advisor meeting and showed her around and got her apartment info. Well she was never admitted because she had a hard time passing the TAAS tests that we unfortunate Texans must take.

So I start getting pressure from my family to help her since I had no problem getting in. I had no idea how to help her. I was horrible at standardized tests. I took my SAT like 4 times and my ACT three times just to get a minimum grade to be considered for acceptance to college. The TAAS tests I took twice. So I got in right? I barely got in and I had to work hard to stay there. School has always come easy for me in a way but college was different. I was coming out and finding out who I was and it was really weird. I didn’t want to do anything. I took 5 years to finish and that was after I failed out and took a forced year off because of academic suspension. So I worked for that whole year, and went back even after people told me I wouldn’t. I knew I would and I did with flying colors. Deans List twice and Presidents List my last semester. However now that I go home with a new job and a seemingly perfect life after graduating I get a very bitter feeling from her and other family because she couldn't get in or because I didn't help. I had NO help at all. I applied on my own and took all of the tests alone and failed and passed on my own. I got government grants and financial aide. I worked and took 21 hours because I wanted too so I could prove to myself and others that I had done it.

She has a baby now and went to cosmetology school and is working at a salon she likes but I still feel very cold when I see her. She's very short with me like I abandoned her. I did not. She could have done what I did. Studied for months and taken classes to help her. It just makes me mad that everyone around me thinks things come so easy for me. I hide things well and don't like to talk about my flaws; I just do what I have too. Now this job even, "You're so lucky because that's a great job." Yeah I know it's a great job, and it took four months to find while I'm going out of my mind into a depression because I felt lost not knowing where I would be this time next year. Lucky right? I searched everywhere to find a job I wanted, while staying at a place I hated just to get by. Lucky that I applied and waited patiently to hear back and lucky to get an interview and thank god luck got me the job. Not my skills or my ambition to get what I wanted. I feel the same way I always did about her even now. I hate myself for feeling like maybe I should have done something to help her cause now we are so far grown apart, nothing will ever be the same. Right.

Monday, October 17, 2005 

Third Crush

These pictures make me quiver. They remind me of the types of guys I grew up with. Chris Evans is already one of my favs, but now I mean dammum. That hat and the jeans and the body, it just reminds me of the country boys. Country boys are hot, I grew up with them and hell I am one, but these make me drool. He looks hot and he looks like he doesn't know it. I can remember one boy in school that looked alot like these pictures. We'll call him "Bobby". He was gorgeous, tall, and pumped, moderately hairy, wore the tightest jeans, and drove a big 'ol kicker truck. Sounds great right? He was, but he had no idea he was hot. He was very shy, quiet, and odd almost. I saw him once in the locker-room looking very much like these pictures. Jeans unbuttoned, trucker cap, barefoot, and tatted in the right places. He was so sweet and innocent, and he liked me. We talked alot and he was scared to go off to college, and not sure what was next. He went off after school and I'm not sure where he is now. I can honestly say he was my third crush (the first was Jordan Knight, and the second was Tom Selleck). "Bobby" just made me smile. I still have a thing for country boys, o Chris Evans will just have to do! Not complaining.

Speaking of country boys, I went home this weekend to see my mom and just visit before I start this new job. It was really nice to see everyone. We went to Wal-mart, which in a small town is like Starbucks. I mean everyone was out, sportin the rocky mountain jeans and feathered bangs. It was hot. It's like a stop in time. Nothin has changed at all. It was so great, seriously. When I do go home all we seem to do is cook, talk , and eat alot. So I'm like 10 pounds heavier and love it. I miss the small town mentality, but I am glad I'm not living there anymore. I've out grown it, but it's still nice to go home. Nothin else has really been going on. My Bobby will be home tonight after going home for a funeral and then he will fly out tomorrow for L.A. So no time will be spent together this week and I start my job and the craziness that goes with that. I'm so content right now. Strange.


Here we rockin slow slow slow...

So I like the new Ricky Martin song, but have you seen the video? Click his name and see it. He's been taking dance lessons from Ciara. Can somebody say "oh". I can. OH NO bitches. He does look hot so I guess it's all good. Watch both and you'll see.

Saturday, October 15, 2005 


Aqui (via:erikapalomino)

SHHHH don't tell.

You're Welcome!

I hope you can read Portuguese.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 


I must start out by saying, "I don't watch much TV." I do have a few shows that my friend TIVO records for me. Martha, Will and Grace, The Simpsons, and Nip/Tuck. Nip/Tuck is by far my favorite and the one I can't wait to watch after getting off work on Tuesdays. If you don't watch Nip/Tuck you really should give it a try. I've watched since the beginning and now in the middle of it's third season, it's still a great show. However, recently the plot line has taken a shift to the gloomy side of life. Not one character is having fun this season, and it doesn't look like things are changing much in the future. I think the show has lost it's edge, but compared to other shows on in the same time slot it's still leaps and bounds above the rest. Yet comparative to it's previous seasons, I'm left wanting more. The show showed two sides of life, one responsible and the other careless, and now everyone is depressed. Still, it's great to watch for the sub plots and radical surgery the show is known for. From dead bodies, chopped up and thrown into the swamps, Columbian drug dealers smuggling heroine breast implants, a doggy face lift, trannys, incest, a beauty hating serial slasher, hopped up porn goddess, a family in crisis, and a HOT slutty plastic surgeon, the show has many things for many types of people. Set your TIVO, you know I have. Get the first two season's on DVD and you won't be disappointed. Catch up and see if you can guess who the Carver is?


30 minute DEALS

Rachael Ray is kickin everyone's butt. Who knew she could design shoes? Well not really but her's is probably the cutest of them all. I really like her a lot and wonder where she got her start . I mean she's got a TV Show in the works as well as a new magazine. Watch out Martha this chick is takin over.

Speaking of Martha, her new day-time show is almost un-watchable, and I'm like the biggest supporter ever, but it's just not good and her Apprentice show?!?! YUCK

Rachael has been going through a makeover lately. She's slimmed down. Got her hair did, and updated her wardrobe. She looks hot lately, so it's a matter of time till she takes over the world. I mean her shoes she designed is selling for $2,600. Only one in the pair. She's certainly the most popular. So here's more Rachael!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005 


Well things are official now. I got the new hire paperwork today, and that means I'm employed with a real job, that has benefits, 401k, and discounts oh my!! So jump in a celebrate with me and the UT Swim team. Let's go!

I finally saw that movie Garden State and I really think it's overrated. It had some funny parts, but overall it came across contrived, formulated, it tried to hard. I like the guy though and the Star Wars girl, both of them are really likeable, but truly I don't get the appeal. So many people had told me it was the best movie ever, but I don't see it.

Work last night was cool cause I know soon that all the crap will be over and I'll be starting a new phase.

I'm having recurring dreams of tornadoes. Just tornadoes all around me. I'm always okay after it's over, but I experience the whole thing. I'm always in a different place (home, grandma's, mom's) and we (people I can't remember) are in the center of the house waiting for things to pass, and after it's over things are messed up but not destroyed and then here comes the next one. I feel the wind, and the swaying and then it's over. The tornadoes come in waves so each night about 10 occur. It's so weird. This has happened about 20 times over the past 3 months. Then I always make up freezing.


I Feel a Weight Being Lifted

It's really odd. I feel like things are finally falling into place somewhat. I'm on the cusp of starting a new job, which I really think I'm going to love. That was really my biggest challenge over the past few months, five months to be exact.

So all through my life I've always had school, and not really knowing, this adds structure and purpose to everyone's life growing up. It is the biggest part of your everyday life for the better part of say 20 years, and it changes you, and sculpts you into who you are and will be. So you go to school to become "prepared" to face the real world, but I felt like I lacked everything I should have been able to learn and absorb from school. This left me empty and wondering what was next. I've been very out of control with emotions because I'm done with school and starting a new stage of life, and I'm lost.

I started therapy because of the anxiety caused by the "next stage." It's helped me somewhat and that makes me very happy. I had reservations about going though, it almost admits to failure, but hey, whatever. However, now I have a new job, starting at the end of the month and one that I really wanted, so the therapy, I feel, is over now. I've gotten the push I needed to move on from school and I'm gonna run far away with it. A weight has been lifted and I'm excited again like it's my first time riding a bike, falling in love all over again, and even that first day of school which repeats every year. I love that feeling and I can't wait to get started.

Lots of other stuff is going on as well. I just don't know where to start.

About me

  • I'm Morgan
  • From Dallas, Texas, United States
  • Kid tested mother approved, well mostly.
  • My profile
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