Hello
I have to start being a better friend to everyone. I'm usually quiet and closed off about my personal life because I never know how people will take me being gay. I mean I'm not sure how I feel about it anymore. I am gay. I have a partner of 7 years, we have a house together and a car and a checking account, so why can't I come out? Guys at work want to come over and see my house and want to know what's going on with me, but I would just rather not talk about any of it and not come out and hide it all and let it eat me alive for lying about myself, than just tell them and end my internal nightmare. Why?
Work has been busy the last couple of days. I've been alone and that's really the way I like it because I can just do what I want and pace myself to get things done, but I also like when the guys are there becasue we have a good time together. I also feel like I don't step up at work as much as I should. We go to jobs together and I just sort step back and handle the prep work and let the others do the actual "work" while I just support them and make sure tey have what they need. I do this because they have more experience than me and I feel like they could do it better and faster, and frankly I don't like beng watched and talked about about how I might have done something. I would just rather step back and be in the crowd.
Random I know but that's what's on my mind.
Mom just called me to let me know that Martha Stewart is on Letterman.....wow even my mom knows I'm gay!
