All About Me
So that's me at about 4 years old. Believe me it's all down hill from there. I can remember the day that picture was taken. We went to the local grocery store, at that time they took pictures there once a year. I have complete anthologies of picture from birth till about 6 or so al taken at the store, some where near the meat section (joking). Anyway that day, it was raining and I didn't like to get wet or dirty or anything and I did not want to smile. Finally my mother's friend got that out of me. That little smirk of sorts. Every pic that day had the same face. Yup I'm cute.
Ok so here’s some info on me. I was born in the early 80's to a single mother, I was a Love Child. Scandal. So my dad was never in the picture, even though he lived in the same small town at the time. He would call and I would answer the phone. I thought he was a dirty old man because he had the deepest voice I can ever remember; he would ask to speak to my mother and I would tell her "it's the weird guy". I did not know until I was 13-14 that it was him calling. By this time the calls had stopped and we never really heard from him much after that. My mom never got any money from him, he never came to an event I was in during high school and to be honest, if he was there, I would not have known because I really had no idea what he looked like. At around 17-18 my grandmother show me a picture of him, and also some newspaper clipping of his other children. My half brother and sister. Wow, so I had siblings, who knew. I did not really know what to do at that point. So my junior year, my brother's wife was my chemistry teacher. Turns out they had two children and she was pregnant with a third. So now I have a niece and a nephew and a question mark!?! Wow, ok, good deal. So graduation comes, and I'm off to college.
So present day, I have no relationship with my dad, brother, or sister. See that whole time it was all a secret, or at least, something none of us talked about. The last time I was at home, I went out for a late dinner with friends to a neighborhood cafe, and my dad was there. To be honest I don't think he even realized.
To tell the truth, I'm not sure I would want to know them or be in their lives. I'm just not interested in getting to know them now. My dad had a choice well before I did, on whether he wanted to be in my life. He chose, as far as I know not to be involved. Maybe my mom didn’t allow him to be involved. No clue. I used to ask my mom questions about him when I was really young, but she would get very angry and not talk to me for days at a time. That's pretty damaging for a young kid, I think. After that happened a few times, I just stopped asking. So blah, Happy Father's Day Everyone!!
