Ground Floor

I had a finance test today, it was not that bad. However on the way home I kept thinking about this one problem on the test and as soon as I pulled into my parking space...I remembered exactly how to do it and basically figured that the way I worked it was wrong and it was possibly the easiest question on the test. I skipped beverage survey today to allow for a little study time, we had an exam in there yesterday, so it's all good.

I was cleaning out my e-mail folders today, trying to keep everything organized and such…and I came across this letter from a girl I was very much in love with. Yes, I loved a girl and in some way I still do. I could see myself being married to her, but never could I have sex with her. Here's the letter just for my archives.

hey boy!!
i miss u tons, i was just thinkin bout u and how crazy u are! i am about to start my second year at baylor here in waco...i have lived here all summer, i have two jobs, and i just got back from thailand with my family. fun vacation to say the least. where are u? how are u? when can i see u? i just really wanna talk to you. give me your number and your address cause i am comin baby!! REALLY tho. haha. guess who i randomly saw in the waco mall the other day...barry freakin prince, him and his jail daddy self.haha neways...it was crazy. ok, so write me back asap so i can plan a trip to wherever the heck you are. be good sweetie
love, em

I would do anything for her, I never replied, this was received on 8/4/2003 at 4:37 pm.

On another note, I also found this slightly amusing e-mail with some "handy" advice.

Making your own LUBE

Nope

BABY OIL GEL
In the drug store, look for Baby Oil Gel. It's smoother than Vaseline but washes up easily, with just a little soap. It's also slicker than baby oil (and not as thin), water resistant (great in the shower), and leaves your hands and penis smooth and soft. And it's inexpensive. You might also try adding a little conventional baby oil to it: Put some gel on your hand, and then add a few drops of baby oil on your palm, and spread it around. The cleanup seems a little easier compared to just the gel.

ULTIMATE MASTURBATION FLUID
Mix together the following ingredients:
1 teaspoon baby oil
2 tablespoons Vaseline Intensive Care hand lotion
2 tablespoons facial cream (cold cream, etc.)
3 tablespoons aloe vera (the green stuff) 1 tablespoon Campho-Phenique canker-sore-numbing ointment (optional)
Get in the shower, and smear some of the fluid all over your penis and scrotum or anywhere else you want. Then get some more and put it all over your hands. Use the grip that makes you most comfortable, and enjoy. This is not something to try without being in the shower, as it can get messy.

SLICK-ACTION LUBE
Ingredients:
3 soup spoons of mayonnaise
1 teaspoon clove-oil extract
1 cup olive oil
1/2 large tube K-Y Jelly
Mix ingredients well in a bowl. With your hand, pick up a large glop and place your penis into it. Begin to stroke. It's messy but cool, soothing, and the clove oil gives your erection new rigor.

These are just a few. There are more, I'll post'em later.